Today has been a full and varied day. I am not even very sure where to begin. I know that the steward in charge of me at work was pleased at the start of my shift, but towards the end a fairly stern and important looking person was standing looking over me. It is very hard to do good work when you know someone is looking in at you judging your movements at every turn... or at least that is what you think they are doing... mostly in the negative sense. However, I cannot say work was all bad. I pledged myself to the King again at work. I did feel a little rejuvenated and ready for work. Afterwards I saw the largest rainbow in the sky that I have ever seen. I remember the covenant the King made with Noah in the old times. How the rainbow is a promise to build up and not to tear down. It is a mark that He will keep His promises.
Coming back from work I gave a ride to Arym'k. She works with me moving parcels but lacks a regular carriage to ferry herself from home to work and back again. So I offered and it does seem to be the King's providence that we live so close to each other. However I noted that my carriage (or rather my father's carriage entrusted to me) was making strange sounds on the way home. I took it to the work-smiths that I trusted and asked them to find the trouble if they could. It seems that my trouble will cost me a lot money. I have no love of money or the use of it, but there are times when it seems to get anything done I must have so much of it. This amount to fix the carriage is just such an amount for me. I planned to offer to my parents that I would pay half if they could pay half.
The only trouble with this was that I planned on going to my old school and helping Nod'lesh in his story-making. I was trying to make connections with friends there, but I had to wait till the end to ask this. Unfortunately the story-making of the day was not concluded till long after it had begun and the safe time for contacting my parents had come and fled. When I did contact them I knew they had been in their beds a while. I am afraid that I did little more than rob them of their sleep when I proposed my plan for their carriage put in my trust. Still it eased my mind a little to know that they would know.
Leaving my contacts and listening to the final remarks I was struck by the way that the crew related to the one person there that I did not have a favorable relationship with. Indeed this person was doing the things that I wanted to do... walking and finding stories, and helping to tell them. He was very professional... which just made me dislike the situation more because I found my self in constant comparison with him. At the end of the day I had to ask myself if the King made me accursed.
I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and I will let it pass, when it is gone only I shall remain.
I will not doubt. Doubt is the heart killer. I will remember the assurance and lessons of the past and will hold onto my hope for the future. When my doubt passes only my faith shall remain.
I will not despair. Despair is the Spirit killer. I will persevere with the character given to me, when the anguish is gone my hope will remain.
The King and His Son are my rock and refuge I will trust, hope and love them with all that I am. Even when I don't feel like it.
till next I find my spirit longing to write...
Fair travel and safe lodging to all
and to you: may the blessings of the King be ever with you.
Gby,
Kroy
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